The Do’s And Don’ts Of Being At The Center Of The Universe: Miley Cyrus Edition

Miley Cyrus Caught Smoking Weed

Death by Party | Good Girl Miley Cyrus Caught smoking weed

I often ponder about being at the center of the Public Eye.  Would the world find me more interesting if they photographed every move I make?  Or would they crucify my actions?   I could see the headlines: Lou Cervantes, Door Opener.  Wannabe Wannabe: Pumps his Own Gas. Normal Guy: Wears a Tie to Work.  And so on and so on, further escalating my own non-relevance in this superficial digitized universe.

Not saying I don’t get funky a little once in a while behind closed doors, but who doesn’t.  Everybody has a baby marching elephant or a chimpanzee playing the trombone lost somewhere in their private abode.  Many people speculate that if people are caught doing crazy things in public than their craziness must be escalated umpteen times in their private world.  And while in some cases I can totally understand where they are coming from, there are some calculated instances where I totally disagree.

Take for example the current bildungsroman in the life of Miley Cyrus.  Lately, Miley Cyrus has made waves for being photographed smoking illicit substances out open in the public.  Many question her once darling status.  She’s cut her hair.  She parties.  And she’s the girl you don’t bring home to mom.  But what they fail to realize is, Miley can do whatever the hell she wants.  She’s rich.  But more importantly, she’s created an image that needs to expand with her aging audience.  I think she has sharply calculated certain things she is caught doing in public to appeal to this aging audience.  After all, she’s a genius.

There are days where I wish I could get rich and famous from having a sex tape or taking bong rips on youtube, but the best thing I would receive is shame from my peers.  They would look as me as the Idiot.  And eventually I wouldn’t be invited to their children’s birthday parties, or their wives’ gender reveal parties, or to whatever professional networking hour they are sponsoring at some miserable chain restaurant or bar.  Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it isn’t a good thing in the life I’ve been handed.

As for Miley, I say keep on doing your thing.  I wanna see her rolling her face off at the Grammy’s and making out with Selena Gomez.  Or better yet, making a sex tape with Selena and her fiancé.  I wanna see her get into it and write songs about it, just like Madonna did back when she was It.  And most importantly, I wanna see her crank out more club bangers.  This world needs Miley Cyrus to be a bad girl.  For we all know: a.) inspiration can take us a long way and b.) wholesome images are boring.

By Lou Cervantes

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