Sun Kissed Goth

Pentagram One Piece Bathing Suit By Cromat

Death by Party | Pentagram One Piece Bathing Suit By Cromat

I hate tan lines.  When I was younger- during my post-goth black lipstick I sleep all day and only go out at night phase…..  You know, the one where you take a couple of aspirin every day because it thins your blood and someone told you it would make your skin more pale, that phase.  Anyway- I spent a summer hanging out with a good friend and his stripper girlfriend.  She forced us to watch Baywatch EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY.  Eventually the brainwashing took hold and long after he dumped her ass we were still drinking beer and watching Baywatch reruns after work. Did I mention that this job was building a giant dinosaur for a Haunted Hayride at a local farm- and all day we would hang out, smoke pot and paper mache?  It was pretty sweet.  The purpose of telling you all of this is as follows:  The aforementioned stripper made a very good point when it came to tan lines.  I promptly began my love affair with tanning beds, a luxury I have since given up on.  I had the most amazing, glistening line free caramel skin you can imagine.  I was so dark that I could actually convince people I was from South America.  Anyway- this year we are going to Thailand.  We’ll be enveloped by a world of debauchery, and I’m not referring to any of that pussy shit from Hangover II.  Give me a break.  The kind of debauchery that will require me protecting myself with a built in pentagram.  I mean after all, it’s hot as hell- in every way imaginable, and a little underlying support from the Dark Lord can never hurt, right???

C.U. Next Tuesday,

-Helen Harper

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