Feel Smart, Look Like An Idiot

My Hatred For Non-prescription Glasses

Death by Party | My Hatred For Non-prescription Glasses

This new non-prescription glasses movement has got me perplexed.  Don’t get me wrong, I always had a thing for the Catholic School Girl get-up but when everybody and their mother starts a trend like this particular one it is enough to make me think that some sort of conspiracy is in place.  It all starts with the eye surgery movement that has spread like wildfire over the last two decades.  I can’t give you the actual numbers but it would appear that the manufacturers of glasses have probably taken a hit as a result of this surgery.  In my own circle, most of my friends with deteriorating eyesight have bought into having their eyes corrected by a surgeon.  Who manufactures non-prescription glasses?  The same people who manufacture prescription glasses.

The first time I noticed this stupid fad take off was during the post-game conferences of the 2012 NBA Finals.  My reasoning behind it initially was that professional basketball players wanted to look smart.  After all, they make smart people dollars so why not look the part.  Soon after, plastic women and roid-ragers hopped onto this trend and took it to the next level.  How could you suspect anything less from the most physically artificial people out there?  Now at least they can pretend the whole world actually cares about what they have to say.  It was almost cute watching some of the most horrible people on Earth walk around like fools.  The best are the idiots that don’t wear the glasses but have it tucked into the front collar of their shirts or wrapped around their forehead like a headband.  This along with the tight print v’s and ridiculous fake orange tans makes for some healthy fodder; however, it was watching this trend catch on from social circle to social circle that began to get me the most irritated.

All of my dismay reached a peak once I saw my own friends taking part in the foolishness.  Thankfully that lasted no more than two hours on a drunken night.  I wouldn’t even mind it if a couple girls were into this, hell, my all-time dream girl is Adrian from the Rocky movies, specifically the original one.  When I moved to South Philly my hope was to find an Adrian look-a-like and take her ice-skating.  I thought it was something unique until I realized guys who were taller and more handsome than myself in the minds of members of the opposite sex apparently also thought the same thing thanks to this stupid fad.  If I’m lucky nowadays maybe a Mama Cass look-a-like might give me ten minutes of her un-abided attention between ham sandwiches.  I can only imagine what’s next in store, maybe if I’m lucky every scene-junky South of Washington will attempt to replicate the Clark Kent curl that I’ve rocked on and off for the previous two decades.  I may as well bring back the Rodney Dangerfield pompadour because like the legend I get no respect.  Trust me, it ain’t easy being weird, especially when society’s perception of it is in style.  It is especially daunting when you see how foolish people look after they all latch on to the same hot trend.  After witnessing all of this social stupidity, sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m actually more normal than everyone else around me.

By Lou Cervantes

Photos courtesy of http://girlspectacles.tumblr.com

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One Response to “Feel Smart, Look Like An Idiot”

  1. Butchie Yost says:

    Take her to da zoo

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