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Paula Deen's Pornsite Endorsement Offer

Death by Party | Paula Deen’s Pornsite Endorsement Offer

I’ve always had an uncontrollable hatred for Paula Deen. When I die and go to hell, I’m going to be tormented by an overly polite demon creature with the head of Tammy Faye Baker and a giant greasy cellulite skin suit that oozes diabetes. Sound familiar?

HOWDY YA’LL

So of course, initially I was elated to see my night terror fall from grace. But after a while, as literally ALL of her endorsements and business partners abandoned her, I started to feel kinda bad for butter tits.  I mean, she’s a cracker, with grey hair and is from Alabama. 100% of all crackers from Alabama with grey hair have spouted off some bigot shit. I’m not saying that’s right. I fully endorse euthanizing all crackers from Alabama with grey hair. Waiting for nature to take it’s course just takes too long, even with people eating Deen’s Food. But with General Sherman long dead, I just don’t see that happening any time soon. So if the rest of Alabama gets to make a living then Deen should too.

I was so happy to read on TMZ that she has a chance to bound back. MILF purveyor porn site PureMature.com has offered Deen a six figure deal to endorse their granny smut site. Here is the best part- she DOESN’T have to get naked. …If only the octomom had been allowed to keep her cloths on.

In parting I will leave you with some dope Paula Deen Riding Things Memes because bigoted fat ladies and butter make me laugh.

BYE YA’LL

-Annette Garcia

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