Twisted Quest

Death by Party | I Heart Valeria Lukyanova, The Human Barbie

Well….I am obsessed. I just never wanted this to be over. And I have so many questions! Did she choose the whole bearded look with the snakes? More to the point- I need to learn Russian so I can get the most out of her lecture series. I find myself deeply interested in her many incarnations. She is, by far, my favorite type of whack-job.

While I am not currently in the market for a new spiritual leader, I am always excited to find fantastical crazies on the internet who, I’m sure, are closer to the real deal than any of the robe-wearing high holy people society has deemed valid. Because there is nothing, NOTHING, more sane or natural than deciding which people who run around saying they talk to god are crazy and which ones are totally right and awesome and totally, for real, certifiably hanging with big invisible people in the sky. Catholics, valid: pretty Ukrainian lady, total nut job. Right. I’m inclined to believe that Miss Amatue and that one time traveler fellow are as authentic as they come. How the fuck do I know what goes on in the universe? I don’t. You don’t either. Stop acting like you know for sure whether or not this broad came from some other planet to be beautiful and teach people about things. I mean, she’s not sure which things, but she knows there are things to teach you and you probably have to not be from here to achieve that skill level of vapid staring. Maybe she got kicked out of her universe because she was dumb and they figured she’d be a big hit here on earth, because we’re into that sort of thing. Solid call, beings from whatever realm it is she says she comes from. Maybe earth is just the short bus of the cosmos. You don’t know.

Plus also? Deciding someone is crazy because she’s obsessed with her looks and thinks the whole Barbie, big-tittied, blonde haired, skinny ass vibe is the best is dumb. Hello, Pot? This is kettle….

-Tricky Pitcher

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