In Defense Of Lord Beiber, The Littlest Prince

Justin Bieber the Little Prince

Death by Party | But who will hold the royal wee wee when I make pee?

 Alright, here we go. There’s a feeding frenzy about Lil’ Justin Bieber having his servants carry him up the steps of China’s Great Wall so that the royal kicks wouldn’t get scuffed on dirty Chinese history stones. The bloggoverse keeps comparing him to Prince Joffrey in the Game of Thrones and I think that’s just unfair. First off, Joffrey travels by servants carrying him in a litter. He would never let them foul his personage by actually touching him. Prince Bieber is down with his security peeps and has no problem resting his ass checks on their heads. In fact, he really likes it.

There are plenty of other differences. Joffrey is a violent psychotic born of incest. Justin is a down to earth homie with a vagina for an asshole. On the show Joffrey loves to torture whores. In real life Justin has his assistant chew his food and spit it into his mouth. Joffrey is an incompetent boy king ruling the 7 kingdoms of Westeros. Justin peed his pants on stage once and always wears his cap to the side.

I say, if you pay them, make the security guards walk for you. If you give them the gift of employment- make them give you piggy backs, hand jobs, dance to your songs, eat bugs. I mean, it’s better than working at Walmart where they would have to see his fans all day.

-Annette Garcia

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