A Plea For The Return Of Bat Shit Britney

Work Bitch- I so prefer the crazy fat Britney over the slutty faux whore Britney

So here is the new Britney video, “Work Bitch.” This video makes me happy because it means Britney is working. It’s important that Britney stay gainfully employed because it mean’s her body guards, handlers, public relations people, personal trainers, personal chefs, nutritionists, personal stylists, makeup artists, personal shoppers, managers, assistants, therapists, drug dealers, doctors, drug dealing doctors, agents, nannies, lawn care specialists, cleaning ladies, hair dressers, custom weave manufacturers, paparazzi stalkers, lawyers and dental hygentists all stay gainfully employed.

If you include all the roadies, the stage managers, sound engineers, the videographers, editors, lighting specialists, PR photographers, the stage security… Why Britney, you’re just a bleached & dancing one girl living economy.

But-

What about about the millions of people whose livelihood is based on making fun of Britney? Remember the salad days of the psycho head shave, beating the car with an umbrella, flashing her vag while deep throating bottles of Stoli with Paris Hilton, the beautiful photo sets of Britney smashing Twinkies into her face as her gut was hanging over her jeans and her ass crack was showing? What about the crying? There used to be so, much, crying…

Yes, we can look at this video and say, “gee, she used to be a good girl and in this video she looks like she’s a cab ride away from a Fernando Valley anal cream pie date with Ron Jeremy.” But hasn’t that angle been established and played out years ago?

We create celebrities so we can tear them down. Without the side show of Britney’s personal life, all we have left is her, ugh, music and a nice pair of tits, which means if she doesn’t shape up and start fucking up, a lot of sycophants are gonna be out of a job.

-Annette Garcia

Photos courtesy of http://itsbritneybitch.tumblr.com

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