Nerds Must Have The Best Sex

Death by Party | Medieval Land Fun Time Extended Trailer 

In all my long years on this planet and with all the medieval fantasy freaks I know and love, I have, somehow, never managed to get myself to a renaissance fair. Shit, I’ve never even been to Medieval Times. I’m not sure how I’ve lived this long without giant turkey legs, tomato throwing and busty girls bringing me mead and whatnot. Not to mention the orgies.

I’ve always assumed that renaissance fairs and medieval everythings end in giant, kinky sex parties. I watch The Tudors and read an awful lot of the smutty books I read take place in eras where people wore corsets and furs (who the fuck knows what time period they’re really going for anyway) and somehow, someway, there is always very lusty, forbidden sex happening. I assume that in order for these events to be realistic everyone lifts up their skirts and does the dirty by firelight. And they eat grapes. Because someone is always eating grapes.

As I said, I’ve never been so I’m not sure about the orgy thing but I can promise you that if I’m getting dressed up and playing a character- somebody is getting laid at the end. That IS why people go, right? For all the lusty group sex? Why the fuck else would these things be so popular??

By Tricky Pitcher

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