So You Kissed A Girl, We All Do

Michelle Rodriguez (And Every Other Woman On Earth) Is Half A Lesbian

Death by Party | Michelle Rodriguez (And Every Other Woman On Earth) Is Half A Lesbian

Was the world waiting for a sexuality announcement from Michelle Rodriguez? Were we all on tenterhooks, desperate to know if a tomboy tough girl could love the serious deep dicking? Well, neutrally played, Michelle, you and every other girl in the universe has swung both ways.

She couldn’t have admitted to full dyke. That would have been to0 satisfying for us. Every douchebag that’s jerked off to her for years, getting off on the notion that she could easily slap them around a little, would have had an “I told you so!” to chime in with. If she’d come out and “come out” we could all feel safe and cozy in the inexorable truth that woman who wear comfy shoes and like cars and fighting (or in this case, simply play characters in movies that like cars and fighting) are always carpet munching lezzies and penises everywhere could go back to quietly fantasizing about her without having their manliness threatened by her bad-assery.

If she’d said she was dick crazy we’d have called her a liar. She could be huge a closet princess who can’t imagine anything hotter than a throbbing veiny erection and that all her wildest desires are filled by the piston style motion of a hetero hump the blogoverse would surely be overrun with third person accounts of how they know, KNOW, that Michelle loves the vag.

Instead Mz. Rodriguez took the only available out. She casually and coyly confessed that she’s just too wild a creature to be bound to one sex or another… “I’ve gone both ways. I do as I please. I am too … curious to sit here and not try when I can. Men are intriguing. So are chicks.”

In other words, “sometimes I get drunk and bang chicks” or “sometimes I get drunk and bang dudes” depending on which way her preferences lean.

Yeah…. Uh, so does every other woman on earth who gets the chance. Ladies? Are hobags. And I say that with love. Free from the societal pressures to prove our womanhood based on our sexual proclivity, we hump around. Give us a drink or two and we’re swapping spit with our besties. A chance to bump uglies with our gay boyfriend over some ecstasy? Sold! An old boyfriend of mine used to love asking super straight guys, “what’s the difference between your girlfriend and a lesbian?” The answer was always “about a half a fifth of Jameson”.

The man wasn’t wrong. Cheers to being just like the rest us, Michelle.

-Courtney Shayne

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