Shit Head

Shirtless Baby Bieber Demands Hip Hop, Kicks DJ Ass

Death by Party | Shirtless Baby Bieber Demands Hip Hop, Kicks DJ Ass (By kicks ass we mean, poops pants)

Shit is getting real with Baby Bieber. Based on his twitter feed and this most recent display of super tough guy manliness I am convinced, CONVINCED, that Biebs is a real man’s man and a force to be reckoned with.

Remember when he was just a widdle guy with poofy hair? Plucked from Canada to hang with thugs like Usher and Scooter Braun…we should have known then that sweet Justin was headed for a life of lady killing and ass whooping. I mean, he named his second album the exact same name as his first album but with a “2.0” after it and started hanging around after school with street types like Ludacris, Chris Brown and goddamned Miley Cyrus- what chance did he have?? It was basically all over by his seventeenth birthday when he made an obscene hand gesture.

Lately we’ve watched him spiral completely out of control. He’s been seen kissing his older girlfriend while touching her butt (they were having intercourse too. Bet.) and reports of foul language and intimidating behavior in well-lit public spaces with lots of security around mean our demure, Canadian Biebs is lost forever. In his place now stands a shirtless, androgenous menace terrorizing our dreams and our nightclubs.

Pull your shades and lock your doors, America, this is one souped up angry Canadian with an axe to grind. You play that hip-hop music or else!

By Tricky Pitcher

Photos courtesy of

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